Converse Porn

Say hello to my new favourite possessions.

I don't know what it is about Converse, they are the sexiest fucking shoe on the planet.

I love them on chicks, I love them on dudes. I like them in a box, I like them on a fox.

This is getting a little Dr. Seuss, isn't it?

I bought Chuckles a pair for Christmas, and every time we go on a date, I make a request that he wear them.

Chuck Taylors for Chuck Adams. :)

Chuck wore them in the 70's when they were cool the first time. He said they were the cheapest shoe you could get, and everyone wore them for basketball.

He said he also enjoyed them because he could tromp through streams and puddles in them, and they'd dry really quickly. That's my Chuckles, the outdoorsy type.

And the real reason he's happy to wear them when I ask, is because I immediately want to have sex with him. With only the shoes on.

That THAT mental image to the bank and cash it.

If I had a penis, I totally would have sex with my new Converse, I would. Hell, even though I don't have a penis, I have to admit that I've tried it. And it was satisfying enough to make me want a cigarette afterwards. And I don't even smoke.

Look at the purple. LOOK AT THE FUCKING PURPLE.

And they've got a double tongue. I LOVE THE DOUBLE TONGUE.

Please take that as innuendo, because these shoes are pure, All-Star sex.

I suspect a Converse habit is forming. Especially since I found out you can custom design your own shoe online.

Like these:

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ALL THE SHOE PORN!!!

Yesterday when I had to change out of them and into my work shoes, I got sad very quickly. The day went down hill from there.

In other breaking girly news, I also bought a purse this week.

I fucking hate buying purses.

It's just a container with a zipper. I will never understand how one could pay $10,000 for a bag to put one's shit into.

But then again, those same people might not understand the strong urge I have to hump Converse.

The tone of this post was so intellectual.

You're welcome.