Monday, April 25, 2011

If Harris Teeter Was A Dude, I'd Totally Make Out With Him

I was all prepared to go down to Wilmington after this morning's meeting to load up on Brit-snacks for Friday.

Wilmington is 50 miles (or about 80km) away from where I live. Probably 15 miles closer from the bookstore. I buy most of my really 'fancy' foods from The Fresh Market.

Just before I left the meeting, my friend Kristyn informed me that they had just opened a new Harris Teeter store at about half that distance two weeks ago.

"They sell HP sauce and Marmite. You might want to try there first," she said.

Harris Teeter is a sort of specialty grocery store. Thank goodness she told me, because H. Teets (that's what I'm calling it now) had every single British food item on my list. Saved me time and gas money.

More importantly, gas money.

I picked up all sorts of awesomeness!

Branston Pickle?


I'd never tried B.P. before, I bought it based on all your recommendations. It's amazing!



They say you either love Marmite, or you hate it. I don't understand the hate part.

It's effing delicious. I wanna motorboat it.

And it's 100% vegetarian!

(*cough* Like I give a rat's ass about that *cough*)

I couldn't wait till Friday, I had to bust that one open. Butter...Marmite...toast...heaven.

Heinz 57 Beans?


Heinz 57 Curry Beans?

Oh, pardon me. I meant Beanz.

Check. Mate.

Cream for my (to be freshly baked) scones?

That's a check and a hells yes!

English jam for my scones?

Check.'s Scottish jam. They didn't have English jam.

But isn't Scotland just sort of an annex of England?

Hey, hey! I was just kidding. No need to pelt me with haggis, my Scottish friends.

What's that? Haggis Hurling is a sport?

Oh. Well carry on then.

And thank you for the jam.

HP Sauce?

Hm. Don't know if that's quite a 'check'. I prefer the Original, but all they had was Fruity.

What do they do, put extra tamarind in it?

Oh well, I'm good with Fruity.

Hey, you know what? If you say Fruity a bunch of times, it starts to not sound like a word anymore.

Fruity, fruity, fruity....

Getting off track here.

Wensleydale cheese?


They had two other with apricot bits and another with cranberry bits.

But since I got the Fruity HP, I stayed with regular Wensleydale. Otherwise that's just too much fucking fruit.


That not only deserves a 'check', but an 'I didn't know Aero was English'. I always thought it was a Canadian thing. Huh.

Jammie Dodgers?

(Notice, they're "Now More Fruity!" Wtf? Does that make everything better in England??)

A 'check' for me...

...and the forks for IG.

If loving biscuits that you think taste like ass is wrong, then I don't wanna be right. fingernails sure are dirty. Can take the gardener out of the dirt, but can't take the dirt out of the gardener.

And last but not least...

Drum roll please!

I didn't think I'd find actual Jaffa Cakes. I thought I'd have to settle for Pims!

Obviously I didn't buy it all to eat for the Royal Wedding, or it'd probably kill me.

"Kyna's dead."

"Oh, that's terrible! How'd she die?"

"I heard they found her on the floor with curried bean sauce smeared all over her face and a Jammie Dodger lodged in her aorta."

"Tsk, tsk. She should have paced herself..."

Harris Teeter, I love you.


Liz said...

Hi Kyna,

Congrats on getting your goodies! :D

Try not to eat the Jaffas all at once, although I know it'll be a struggle...
Mmmm Jaffa...
Now, you do realise I expect you to do this: when you eat them!!! :D

Kyna said...

Full moon. HALF moon. To-tal eclipse! LOL

Natalie said...

The Jaffa Cake advert is hilarious, it's a classic.
Branston is yummy too, actually, all the stuff you purchased is delicious, although I don't recognise the Jaffa Cake packaging! I think I'm just used to the McVities JC's.
I had an idea - and now you have jam you can make it! A Victoria sponge with whipped cream and jam filling. Quintessentially British and scrumptious!
I shall be having one with my husband for the wedding, along with tea (of course) and a roast beef dinner. Not at the same time though, that would be odd.

Jess said...

I am so jealous of whomever you are inviting over to this party. It sounds brilliant!
ps. my closest grocery is a harris teeter and I had no idea they had this stuff...I'm going to have to go looking.

Jayne said...

OMG!! I wish I was coming to your house but apparently the invitation got lost in the mail! I also wish we had one of those stores near us. As it is, I will be working and will have to relive the event later, via the DVR :-( I'm a Brit too, can you believe they're making me work?

Curbstone Valley Farm said...

Ok. That's it. I'm coming to your house for dinner. I'll bring the wine. Clearly I may have to fight the IG for the Jammie Dodgers, but that's ok. I'll win ;) Not sharing the Branston either. I grew up on mountains of cheese and pickle sandwiches, and when I couldn't find it here some twenty-mumble-mumble years ago, my mother shipped me a case...yes, an entire case...and I ate the lot. People just didn't get why I was so dotty over a jar of chutney LOL. Enjoy!

Flowering Trees Tennessee said...

Full moon. HALF moon. To-tal eclipse! LOL.
Thanks for sharing..

CanadianGardenJoy said...

OK Kyna .. I have to step in on this one .. minus the unmentonable I stepped on by mistake (I swear !)
Aero is Canadian .. I don't care how many times the sneaky Brits say it is "theirs'... its only become famous because we 'ave em HERE in good old Canada land and we LOVE em OK ?? end of !!!
No one ... and I mean NO ONE !! can take those chocolate bubbles away from me and say they belong to some one else .. nope ... not having it !!
and .. sorry to say this too, in case it casts a shadow over your TV enjoyment time of that "ugh" wedding .. but I am going to avoid that like the plague (did I spell that right?) .. I so wish Canada would dump that royal (BS) poop and grow up without those snotty relatives .. did I mention I am married to an Irishman and come from Scottish blood ? cough .. maybe that makes me over sensitive .. do ya' think ? wink wink .. all I have to say is ENOUGH with that damn wedding shit!! *snort*

Kyna said...

Natalie: Well, they're at least closer to the 'real' Jaffa Cakes than Pims are ;) I'm sure they're delicious no matter what.

I was telling my husband about Victoria Cake...he laughed. I asked him why. He just said, 'Because you're cute.' I guess even though I've been married to him for 5 years, being Canadian is still a novelty to him...;)

Jess: *cough* it's a party of one *cough*

Unfortunately I have to admit that I'm going to be by myself. Maybe. A friend of mine expressed interest in joining me. But we'll see if she follows through.

But if she doesn't, that's ok. I don't mind being by myself.

I'll be drinking champagne and eating scones at 6am!

Before Chuck even leaves for work!

Clare: Actually, IG seems to feel the opposite about Jammie Dodgers. I think he'd flush them down the nearest toilet if you put them in front of him. As far as I can infer anyway. :P

But Branston! If you look at the picture, you can already see we've taken a dip out of it.

Bring it on! California's not too far away ;)

FTT: Nice to meet you! Hope you'll be back :)

Joy: There's no way you can rain on my parade. I'm wearing a raincoat with my tiara :)

I really did buy a tiara this afternoon, btw. For my royal wedding party of one. Did you just throw up in your mouth a little?

I wish I lived down the street from you. 'Cause you're awesome :D Even if you ARE a Royal Wedding Pooper.

The Idiot Gardener said...

The Aero is NOT British; it is English. It is manufactured using a patented process invented by Rowntrees, an English company from England in 1935. That's right, 1935, when folks in Canada and the US were still shooting natives and buying the place up with beads.

Yes, you were all trying to work out how to build log cabins and bury your poop while the English ruled the world and ate Aero.

That said, Aero is crap, much like Jammy Dodgers. You want to try real English fare; a roasted badger leg is a thing to die for!

Enjoy the parade of in-breds on Friday!

Kyna said...

1935....that's also the year you were born, wasn't it?

Oi! I did say 'English' :P You old men have to remember to put on your reading glasses...

I will enjoy! I've already bought my tiara for the occasion. My friends think I'm mental.

Which of course, I am. :)

Al said...

Marmite ugh!

Mind you our home grown equivalent "Vegemite" is even worse!

Kris said...

Kyna - I hope that you take this wedding food fest as an opportunity to do another WEBCAM for your blog. You've not done one since the initial and some commentary on your array of UK comestibles (in action!) would be a hoot and a half. Not only would such a clip be historical/hysterical, but the paramedics could use it to reconstruct the scene of the crime when they come to take your unconscious (probably bloated) body to the ER. Ta! :-P

Kyna said...

Al: Marmite is awesome! It tastes like gravy. Bread and butter and gravy taste? Yes!

Kris: I was thinking about it :D I don't know how coherent I'll appear on camera at 4 or 5 am, but I'm thinking about it! :D

Marguerite said...

YES, you got the tiara. That is awesome. The marmite not so much.

Kyna said...

Again with the Marmite hate! :P

The only way I could see someone hating it, is if they had too much of it at once. Otherwise?

Kris said...

Wai..wai...wait. Are you saying folks read this stuff and are expecting you to be coherent? At any time of day? Huh. Who knew...! :-0

On a serious note - I hope you guys are out of the path of these devastating storms today. Take care. :-(

Potato Queen and Mulch Boy said...

I was ready to jump in the car and join you tomorrow morning, and then I realized: you didn't get any Curly-Wurly???!!! You're dead to me now.

Kyna said...

Kris: Touche. :P

The storms aren't as bad here as they were through all the other Southern states. We're under a tornado watch till 9pm tonight, but they said it's not gonna be as bad for our area as it was 2 weeks ago. Hopefully. Over 250 people died in the last couple of days it looks like. :(

Potato Queen: I was LUCKY to even find Jaffa Cakes, let alone a Curly-Wurly! Cut a girl some slack. :P

John Gray said...

now I know why I find your blog interesting
of the psychiatric disorder
"flight of ideas"

ie one subject bouncing to another!

Is the Wiz said...

Dear Kyna, Royal watching's not my cup of tea but I like your celebratory munchies (minus the Marmite- yeuch).
Have a good time to-day

Anonymous said...

I have completely eaten all my now-more-fruity Jammie Dodgers. *wails* I don't understand the hate. These things are awesome. Doctor Who even saved the world from the Daleks with a Jammie Dodger not too long ago, so...embrace the stretchy goodness people! lol