Tuesday, February 21, 2012

It Should Be Against the Law

...for me to own houseplants.

I actually can't believe that I haven't killed this one already. I've had it for...5 years?

It was fine until this last year. And I'm pissed off because I'm actually sort of attached to that plant.

Am I giving it too much water? Not enough? Does it need repotting?

I don't know if it's even repottable at this point. If I even so much as look at it, a piece falls off.

I keep expecting a little boy to ride through my living room on his Big Wheel croaking, "REDRUM".

Houseplants are my nemesis.

Ooh, look. I made it through a post without fucking swearing.

 DAMMIT. Oh well.


Flâneur Gardener said...

I'm terrible with houseplants as well... When my husband moved to Scotland for two years he had his mother take care of all of his plants because he was afraid I'd kill them. -And my watering is sporadic at best, so I don't blame him...

Turling said...

Err..that's a plant?

Sarah said...

I always have the best intentions whenever I buy plants, but inevitably they go to that big greenhouse in the sky.

I've killed 3 cactus plants in the past 3 years. How do you kill a CACTUS?!

The only plant (inside or out) that's ever been able to survive my periods of drought and flooding is FiFi, my wicked cool spider plant. We've been together since 8th grade, and I'm sure she regrets every second of it!

Chris said...

Fear not Kyna. That plant is a 'money plant' I have a few dotted about the house and they are a doddle to propagate. Just take a cutting off a decent bit (assuming you have a decent bit left) and stick it in a pot of soil and water it. Like bloody weeds those things.

PS don't try to use the leaves as actual money. I've been in trouble a few times trying to pull that one. :-D

John Gray said...

you are a cruel, c-r-u-e-l bastard

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Was he suicidal? This sad sad plant of yours.

meemsnyc said...

I have a tendency to kill houseplants too, usually from lack of watering!

John Gray said...

take a look at this


Kyna said...

Soren: Yeah, I don't understand why I am so shit with them? Outdoor gardening, piece of cake. Gardening in a controlled indoor environment? Hard. WHY? lol

Turling: It WAS a plant.

Sarah: Yeah, my dad had one of those plants, and it lived forever. But he was an excellent indoor gardener. He lived in high rise apartments for years, so he had no choice if he wanted plants lol.

Chris: Yes, I bet you're infamous in all the shops LOL I'll try it and see if it works. I think there's some life left in the old girl yet. And in the plant too ;)

John: Yes, I AM cruel. But YOU. YOU. ARE. AWESOME. That fanvid is going immediately onto my other blog. Made my day :D

Cal: I think so. It keeps trying to throw parts of itself off the windowsill. It couldn't take any more of my chatter about Benedict Cumberbatch.

meemsnyc: That plant usually does well with little watering. But maybe there's too little watering going on lol.

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

But you got the word GARDENER in your blog title. How can you fool all the growers out there? I expected to visit here to learn how to grow me some tomacco like on the Simpsons but it seems I was mistaken.