Seriously, why are people such douchefaces? Why??
I know that all of us have the innate potential for asshattery, but for most of us it's not a constant modus operandi.
Retail workers are human. HUMAN.
We make mistakes. But thank God we're not surgeons, so you won't die from them.
We don't know everything. We're flattered that you think we do, but we don't. I lost my crystal ball a few years back and my clairvoyance has never recovered.
We don't have a direct line to the President of the company. We don't play golf with him every week. He doesn't invite us over for Christmas dinners. We are his minions. That is all. And we're good with that.
We don't keep a huge supply of just what you need up our asses, and then lie about it just to piss you off. Trust me. If we could immediately procure what you need from the shelves of our rectal receiving rooms, you'd hear the thumping sound of thousands of pairs of work pants hitting the floor across the world. Just to make you happy so you'll stop yelling at us.
We don't get off on being abused. We don't walk around with ball gags and nipple clamps in our pockets (well....some of us might, but we don't talk about it in mixed company). No thank you Sir, I don't want another.
We have feelings. We have families. We cry, we laugh, we bleed, we sleep. We don't live in the store, so please, when it's closing time we'd like you to leave so that we can clean up and go home to visit with said family members.
We're not robots. We don't plug ourselves into the wall at night to recharge for the next day.
I think customers forget these things in their crazed lust-frenzies to obtain more 'stuff'.
Do me a favour, my friends, the next time you see a poor retail worker being verbally sodomized without lube, step in and let the abuser know that they misread the 'for hire' sign on the door.
'Asshats Need Not Apply'.
Christmas is dead! Long live douchebaggery!