Tuesday, February 21, 2012

It Should Be Against the Law

...for me to own houseplants.

I actually can't believe that I haven't killed this one already. I've had it for...5 years?

It was fine until this last year. And I'm pissed off because I'm actually sort of attached to that plant.

Am I giving it too much water? Not enough? Does it need repotting?

I don't know if it's even repottable at this point. If I even so much as look at it, a piece falls off.

I keep expecting a little boy to ride through my living room on his Big Wheel croaking, "REDRUM".

Houseplants are my nemesis.

Ooh, look. I made it through a post without fucking swearing.

 DAMMIT. Oh well.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Converse Porn

Say hello to my new favourite possessions.

I don't know what it is about Converse, they are the sexiest fucking shoe on the planet.

I love them on chicks, I love them on dudes. I like them in a box, I like them on a fox.

This is getting a little Dr. Seuss, isn't it?

I bought Chuckles a pair for Christmas, and every time we go on a date, I make a request that he wear them.

Chuck Taylors for Chuck Adams. :)

Chuck wore them in the 70's when they were cool the first time. He said they were the cheapest shoe you could get, and everyone wore them for basketball.

He said he also enjoyed them because he could tromp through streams and puddles in them, and they'd dry really quickly. That's my Chuckles, the outdoorsy type.

And the real reason he's happy to wear them when I ask, is because I immediately want to have sex with him. With only the shoes on.

That THAT mental image to the bank and cash it.

If I had a penis, I totally would have sex with my new Converse, I would. Hell, even though I don't have a penis, I have to admit that I've tried it. And it was satisfying enough to make me want a cigarette afterwards. And I don't even smoke.

Look at the purple. LOOK AT THE FUCKING PURPLE.

And they've got a double tongue. I LOVE THE DOUBLE TONGUE.

Please take that as innuendo, because these shoes are pure, All-Star sex.

I suspect a Converse habit is forming. Especially since I found out you can custom design your own shoe online.

Like these:



Yesterday when I had to change out of them and into my work shoes, I got sad very quickly. The day went down hill from there.

In other breaking girly news, I also bought a purse this week.

I fucking hate buying purses.

It's just a container with a zipper. I will never understand how one could pay $10,000 for a bag to put one's shit into.

But then again, those same people might not understand the strong urge I have to hump Converse.

The tone of this post was so intellectual.

You're welcome.

Sunday, February 5, 2012

We're Gonna Need a Big Cake to Fit All Those Damn Candles

Chuckles turns 50 today. :)

Chuck has been walking around yelling, "IIIIIIIII'm 50! 50 years old!" this whole last week.

You probably want to watch this video if you don't know what I'm on about.

Chuck's high kick isn't quite as high as Molly Shannon's, but then again he is missing a lung, so let's forgive him for that, shall we?

Some people celebrate their 50th birthdays by throwing a huge party, inviting friends and family from across the continent/world, just to congratulate them for making it this far or to make fun of them in front of everyone for being old. Or both.

What is Chuck doing for his?


Running a marathon?

Scaling Mt. Kilimanjaro?

None of the above.

Chuckles shares his birthday with the Superbowl this year. We're going over to a friend's house to watch the game, eat some homemade corn dogs and clam chowder, and have just a few other good friends to help him celebrate.

And make fun of him for being so old. :)

Currently, he's lying in bed in his pyjamas (which he never does this late in the morning) watching nature shows. 

What a badass, huh? Well, he got his wildness out years ago, thank the sweet baby Jesus in the manger.

He's done a lot in 50 years.

Was born...obviously (Chuck's the one sitting in the middle)

Went to school and played sports... (ball's behind you there, little Chuckles)

Joined the Marines after high school...

Got out of the Marines and grew a beard...

Shaved off beard and met an awesome, hot, young, Canadian chick...

Survived cancer...

Married awesome, young, hot, Canadian chick...

Went on adventures to see all sorts of awesome things...(and he did get to climb a mountain as you can see, just not one in Africa)

Married off his oldest daughter...

....and his favourite, finally got to see a UNC Tar Heel basketball game in person.

Like, I said, Chuck's lived a full life in 50 years. Sometimes a little too full, there are stories I've heard about him that I don't even like to think about too hard, let alone blog about. Yikes.

Glad I got to spend the last 7 of Chuck's years with him.

I remember when I met him, he was just about to turn 43. I thought, "Wow, in 7 years, he'll be 50! And I'll be 30... That's so far away though...")

Well, 50's here now.

Happy Birthday, Chuckles!! You're 50!

50 years old!!!!!

Here's to the next 50 years!!

(And yes Chuck, I can hear you grumbling right now, "Not gonna make it another 50 years...*grumble*", and you can just stop it :) )