Thursday, March 24, 2011

Hardcore Garden Porn

To all you non-gardeners out there, you might want to click that little 'x' in the corner. Go take a nap. Or feed the cat. You won't be interested. Neither will your cat.




To all you gardeners...you might want to take the computer in the bathroom and lock the door. This stuff is so hardcore, I think it may be illegal in some countries. Some of you more sensitive gardeners may have to shield your eyes. But I promise you'll wanna peek through your fingers!


Get a loada these.


















Hey, you out there! I see what you're doing. Didn't your mama tell you that you'd go blind if you did that?

Well, she was lying. Carry on.

These, my friends, are 'Rococo' and 'Bright Parrot' tulips. They look nothing like the picture on the bag. The picture on the bag looks LAME compared to the way they really turned out. I just bought one little bag. Next year I'm going to buy an armload. They don't really go with anything else in my garden. But they won't last long, and they're the best thing in there, dammit.

I did plant two other varieties of tulips, but they were a little more softcore.

This one I planted around my crepe myrtle and around my mailbox. They were very eyecatching as well. They were tall, and stood up to my windy yard very well. Not sure of the name.




And this one I was least thrilled about. They're called 'Happy Generation'. I don't want to grow it again. It kind of looked sickly the whole time it was growing. The white around the edges of the leaf is supposed to be there, but to me it just looks like unhealthy foliage. The bloom is nice, but not anything I would describe as 'titillating'.




22 comments:

Rohrerbot said...

Oh ma god. Would you look at them tulips! Those blooms are amazing Kyna!! That is incredible...the first pic about a cat and a vase.....that's the story of my life. 5 cats and not flowers in vases. Plants are not permitted to grow in this house.:(

Tweedlebug said...

Those are gorgeous, Kyna! I'm so jealous; I have a couple of months to go before I'll see my tulips. I was out shoveling snow yesterday.

biobabbler said...

Nice! LOVELY. Nice change from the sea of white out my door. I planted a string of irises last fall (which I spent forEVER selecting) but FORGOT TO LINE IT WITH AVIARY WIRE (e.g. protect it from gophers). Noticed a few weeks ago (between snowstorms) a row of HOLES in the ground. RATS!!! grr.....

I LOVE those crazy tulips and man, if you look that good, you don't NEED to match anything. You are the STAR--it's all about you. =)

biobabbler said...

btw: the 1st picture is why I DON'T get to have flowers in our house. Kitties love to eat and topple them. (sigh)

Alison said...

Wow! Your fringed tulips are crazy beautiful! Like something out of a van Gogh painting. Wonderful!

Thanks for the garden porn!

Marguerite said...

You're right. I've seen catalogue photos of these parrot tulips before and I never expected them to look like that. Even the leaves are wavy! Although I am a sucker for a classic tulip - the ones around your mailbox are beautiful.

ONG said...

Hold on one sec, there's a knock at the door. "Mom, I'll be out in a few, just ... ummm ... playing with my Star Wars figures."

OK I'm back, those photos are kind of nice.

Carlin said...

Kyna, that's just mean. :D It's like sending a convict naked pictures 2 months before he gets out. My tulips are still under at least 2 feet of snow and we got more yesterday.

They are gorgeous though! I even like the ones you don't care for. I love tulips.

Liz said...

Hi Kyna,

Now, there's some hard core pr0n!

They're extremely bright aren't they?! I often find photos of plants are crap compared to the reality, I got some tulips in pretty much the same way... They were reduced cheap and didn't look very nice, but I bought them anyway because they were so cheap. And they're stunning! (although not as sexy as yours!)

I've been photographing some Tulipa Turkstanika today, and trying to stalk a Butterfly, which decided to tease me by sunbathing on our doorstep when I was at the other end of the garden and unable to get close to it without scaring it away :(

Becca's Dirt said...

Oh don't discount the last one though it is beautiful. And I see what you mean those are some stunning tulips. I know you are proud of those. Hope you're having a good day.

The Idiot Gardener said...

I wasn't interested in the poxy flowers, until I saw the last few that look like ice cream!!!

meemsnyc said...

I absolutely love parrot tulips! This one is gorgeous!

Christine said...

How incredibly beautiful! You must be so proud of them :)

The Garden Ms. S said...

My eyes are burning! Wow, just the jolt of colour I need to see right now. Spring? Bring it on. :)

Jess said...

I wasn't sure what to expect but tulips weren't it :) They won't come back here (so they are basically annuals) do they come back for you? That would be fantastic.

Is the Wiz said...

Fantabulous! Thank you.
The unnamed ones might be Apeldoorn.

Byddi - We didn't come here for the grass... said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for sharing your tulips with us! In California we can only get them to grow after we have stashed them on our fridge for a couple of months and then they do best in pots - a lot of hassle but I do so love that flower that I grow one or two pots but they are no-where near as gorgeous as yours. I now have tulip envy!

Jayne said...

Holy moley! Love those tulips! I've never tried to grow them, or even seen them growing in anyone else's yard down here.

Jayne said...

OH - and *I* also don't have flowers in the house because we have cats. But I *do* have a couple of nice silk foliage arrangements which can withstand a little chewing now and then.

Kris said...

OMIGOD lookit those tulips. Talk about in-yer-face color. They look like the ground has opened to show raging flames of the fires of hell. Bet they give off heat. I've never had any luck with tulips - but when I do try the rabbits really enjoy the early forage. *sigh* Again - WOW.

Shyrlene said...

You know, I never considered planting Tulips before because the 'bang for your buck' is SOOOOOO short & then you just have those wanky greens that look lame. I have to officially and publicly say - WOW, was I wrong.

I would plant THAT Tulip... the bright pink flowers in the background look smokin' hot w/ the Tulips (the colors kind of vibrate next to each other).

Anonymous said...

Vulgar and disgusting!.... You should be ashamed of yourself.