Saturday, May 21, 2011

Meh. I'll Get To It Later.

Nobody procrastinates like I can procrastinate.

In fact, I meant to write this post months ago. Somehow I just kept putting it off.

Now that I'm nearing 30 (only 10 days now, yikes!!) I have a lot less opportunity to procrastinate.

When I was younger and unmarried and lived by myself, I could let the dishes pile up for 3 weeks and no one cared. Especially not me. I would use every dish in the cupboard before I would finally force myself to wash them.



Disgusting of me, I know. But you all love me anyway.

I could never get away with that now. Chuck would have a shit-fit, and then I'd be getting divorced.

I still have my 'guilty procrastinations' though.

Like phoning people.

I will put off phoning people until I'm forced to do it. Or until Chuck says, "You're being ridiculous. It's just a phone. Fine. What's the number? Did I mention you're being ridiculous? I'll just phone them for you."

And of course I let him. A good husband'll do that.

My life would be so much easier if phones weren't The Devil.



And laundry. Oh, Laundry! How I loathe thee.



The only reason I tend get away with rarely doing the laundry, is because most of the time I keep my mess of clothes confined to two areas. Piled in the corner on my side of the bed, or piled in my closet. And Chuckles does his own laundry.

Occasionally he will walk by my closet, or have to walk around to my side of the bed to say goodbye in the morning, and I'll hear a very heavy *SIGH*.

That's when I know I can't get away with it much longer.

This time.

What else?

Pulling weeds is another bad one for me.




Not that any gardener ever looks forward to pulling weeds (all right, I'm sure there are a few sickos out there who do enjoy doing this), but I HATE it.

Once the heat really kicks up, you'd need a machete to get through all the weeds in my garden. Because I just can't be arsed.

You know, I went searching for a picture of someone unhappy pulling weeds on the internet, and the bastards are ALL SMILING?? W...T...F.

Today I'm procrastinating on making up the store map. I can't procrastinate with many things at my job, but this is one of them. I know I've mentioned it before, but I'm responsible for placing each month's displays at my store. I have to make up a map and a map key so everyone else can find the displays easily.

Usually takes about two hours of unpaid work at home. It's due next Thursday, but I will be off on vacation. I thought this morning would be the perfect time to get it out of the way.

Get it done early!!

Carpe mapem! Seize the Map!

Right.

I decided to write this blog post to procrastinate a little. Because it's in my nature. It's expected.

"I'll have plenty of time after I post this. Plenty of time!" I reasoned.

Then Chuckles gave me a call to come meet him for lunch and visit yet another huge and beautiful waterfront home (I'm so pissed I didn't bring my camera) he's drywalling in near the beach in Emerald Isle.

Of course I said yes right away. I took off so fast that I left jet trails behind me. The map sitting forgotten and forlorn.

Me? I was anything but forlorn! I had a nice tasty burger, and then went to check out the massive house.

"What do the homeowners do?" I asked Chuck.

"They're eye surgeons,"
he replied.

Figures. I totally took the wrong career path in school.

I was looking at the time, thinking I should get back home. I told Chuck so.

"Oh. I thought you might want to go out back and check out the private pier and sit by the water for awhile."

Did I mention Chuck is The Devil? (Ok, I think I said phones are The Devil. But Chuck comes close. Look, he has the horns and the tail to prove it!)



Of COURSE I wanted to go down and walk out on the dock. As I was taking the loooooooong trip down to the end of it, I was imagining all of the rich neighbours wearing their monocles, peering out their high windows, yelling and pointing, "Impostor!!"

Of course that didn't happen. But I kept looking over my shoulder just in case.

It was beautiful out today. Sunny and in the 80's.I thought about the time again, and decided I had better head home, because I had to finish the map and then get to work because I close tonight.

I reluctantly left the beautiful house. I could have just stood there all day with a stupid look on my face, sniffing the large amounts of confederate jasmine they had on huge trellises.



I get home and look at the map.

Then I look at the computer.

Then I look at the map.

Then back at the computer.

I just can't go to work this afternoon with a half-finished blog post draft burning a hole in my PC.

So here I am.

Did I mention I have till next Thursday to get the map done?

Blogger is The Devil.

15 comments:

Alison said...

Hehe! Great post! I hate doing dishes and talking on the phone too. And laundry. I used to hate pulling weeds, because it ain't fun in the heat. But then I moved to the PNW, and it hardly ever goes above 85 degrees here in the summer. And we can garden here in January and February, so I pull them when they are tiny.

Hope you get your map done. That house sounds cool!

Liz said...

Hi,

I don't actually mind weeding, although I'm quite certain I'm not smiling when doing it!
I generally keep on top of them so only need to weed twice maybe three times a year, and just do a little at a time.

Procastination is amezin, I'm doing exactly the same right now with my essays..........

biobabbler said...

Oh, yeah. I am SO with you re: the phone. Hate it. I thought NOT using the phone is what e-mail was for? My husband is totally mystified by my active avoidance of the p-word. And he's allegedly the shy one...

I've referred to myself in the past as an Olympian procrastinator.

Best of luck with your map and yard whirrk. I HAVE to plant all my tomato and peppers and basil THIS WEEKEND before I leave (again, all week) but now I"m SO spaced out via allergy pills (allergic to, you know, the OCEANS of grass that are OUT THERE) I can barely move.

erg. I need staff.

Either that or discipline... =)

biobabbler said...

oh, your story about your husband and your laundry piles reminded me. When I was moving to live with my husband, he came down to help. I had been squirreling away dirty laundry for a LONG time (2 closets for this) and hadn't realized how out of hand it'd gotten.

Then he saw me packing boxes of dirty clothing (not stinky, mind you, but he knew) he decided this was NOT okay and said we had to wash it. All of it.

?!?

We started stuffing the laundry into black plastic trash bags. Then we stuffed the bags into the cab of his small truck, 1 by 1. HE says he'll do all that laundry as I pack everything else. HE IS A GOD.

But then I see him standing at the truck, his back to me, and his shoulders are shaking.

?!? Is my big, smart, hyper-masculine husband crying?? I walk up and he's laughing silently, wiping tears off his face. He points to the truck and it's FILLED TO THE GILLS with big black plastic bags, little black plastic faces pressed against the windows. Like a cartoon.

Poor, poor man. Now I am reformed/not-allowed-to-let-it-get-out-of-hand, but the fact that he didn't run screaming away assures me he's in it for the long run. Why, I'll never know. =)

Jim Groble said...

Great post. Pat comes home next saturday, so I figure I probably should clean up. But you know, i got plenty of time.

Rory Grant said...

Good post Kyna - loved it.

Hmmm there's obviously something wrong with me - I enjoy doing the laundry, dishes etc, and complain only when I've been the one doing it for several weeks in a row. Allow me however to confess here on your blog, a perverse trait, something which if my 'mates down the pub' ever discover, will lead to the cancellation of my Australian residency visa for sure - I LOVE GROCERY SHOPPING!
It's my favourite part of the week.

The knowledge there's a store big enough to justify a map Kyna, might have me beating a path to NC!

Rory

Tatyana@MySecretGarden said...

Well, I think I haven't ever met such a procrastinator! You are the greatest!

Jayne said...

Haha! Great post! If you ever get over your hatred of laundry, can you come and do mine?

Kyna said...

Alison: My mum always said (listen to me, I sound like Forrest Gump) 'Why don't you do your laundry/dishes right away? It's better to clean up the mess as you go than wait until you have a giant pile of mess.' Somehow that never sunk in...

Liz: I always wrote my best essays when I left them till the last minute. I work better when I'm under pressure, even though I'm cursing myself at the time :P

Bio: Your husband must really love you, because I don't think even Chuck would have stayed around to help wash all my clothes. He would have seen that, and thought about what it would be like to have me live with him, and then you would have seen him running away as fast as he could. Chuck can put up with a lot of things, but mess isn't one of them lol.

Jim: A man after my own heart! lol

Rory: It's funny that you mention grocery shopping as your favourite thing. I HATE grocery shopping. I'd rather do a mountain of dishes than go grocery shopping.

Well, that kind of a lie. It depends on what the grocery shopping is all about. I love to cook (see, I do love something chore-ish!) and if I'm making a gourmet meal for friends and I have to take a trip down to the specialty grocery store, I do enjoy it. I like visiting all the fancy foods. :D

But normal, every day grocery shopping? Bollocks to that!

Tatyana: A girl has to be good at SOMETHING! :D

Jayne: That will be a frozen day in Texas, when that happens ;)

The Idiot Gardener said...

I know what you mean. I had to go away for work, so I figured I'd finish a few garden jobs, then I found some beer in the fridge and realised I needed to drink that before I left, and then I found some cheese, so I ate that, with some wine, because it would have gone off otherwise, then I lay on the sofa, because sofas like that sort of shit, then I went to sleep...

Only eight days to go now!

Kyna said...

Shit! 8 days? Really? Don't remind me.It's all downhill from 30 on, I hear.

But I guess turning 30 is better than turning....wait, how old will you be again? 80?

:P

Happy Birthday if I don't talk to you again before the 31st. :)

Kelly said...

Hahaha! You crack me up (I'm a procrastinator too...and lots of things are the Devil for me!)

The Idiot Gardener said...

It feels like 80, but6 it's actually 79, which means I get to piss myself on a regular basis!

30? That's that! Say goodbye to those breasticles!

Kyna said...

Kelly: Haha, thanks :) I'm always saying something's the Devil...anything to take the accountability off of my own actions :P

IG: It's not so much goodbye, as 'so long'.

I'm planning on using them as ankle warmers in the wintertime. And perhaps I can use them as badminton rackets in the summer.

At least they'll be useful. Right now they just sit there and get ogled.

CanadianGardenJoy said...

Hey Kynuck girl (I started using "K"and "y" since it is so close to the truth and looks unique ?)snort giggle .. wow .. having to see how rich people live and have it yanked away like that .. hum .. isn't that what happened to the French aristocracy ?? hehehe .. and then they sailed for Quebec .. ok .. silliness over .. brain burn from head in the garden too long .. 3 days of getting over it and still loopy. Before I forget .. because I will .. HAPPY BIRTHDAY coming .. and 30 ??? OMG !!!!! 3 decades old?
OK .. I will never mention that again .. I got it out of my system.
Have a GREAT one with Chuckles : )
All the best : )
Joyous : )
PS .. Husband loves store maps .. he collects them .. can you send me one to give him for father's day ?