It's leaking all over the place and is covered in mold. There's probably a family of badgers living in it. My cousin said it looks like an old perv.
Speaking of old pervs, I asked Chuckles when he was going to get rid of it for me.
He proceeded to tell me that it was MY pumpkin, and I should get rid of it myself. He'd only do it if I gave him $5.
I told him that the reason I have a husband is to do disgusting things for me like shovel an old, rotting pumpkin off the front porch.
I'm sure it was mentioned in our wedding vows...