Is It Really March Already?

Jesus.

Where is the fucking time going?

So, as Cal pointed out to me the other day, I haven't been writing on here as much lately.

I started a second blog on tumblr, and I spend a lot of time playing on it.

It's something that's quick, easy, and I don't have to think much about what I'm writing, like I do on here. Plus, I get to hang out with a bunch of girls that are just as Cumberaddicted as I am :)

And the reason that's so attractive to me right now, is because I've had a lot on my mind. I like the mindless escape of Tumblr (which they should really call Crackblr).

I don't like to talk about unpleasant things on here. No one likes a downer.

Lots of stuff going on work that I don't want to blog about. Or really shouldn't blog about. So that's out for discussion.

And the rest is mundane. And I've been a little sad.

Maybe I'm attracted to Tumblr because of the amount of followers I have over there. I AM an attention-whore in case you haven't noticed. :)

I've had it for a month and a half, and I just passed 800 followers. Which blows my mind. I feel like a cult leader.

The average age range of users over there is pretty young. Lots of teenage girls. I've made good friends with a few of the 'older' folk on there (older meaning 25-30).

The teenage girls are lovely, they're just excited fangirls, like me. Which is AWESOME.

But they make me sad sometimes.

So many of them feel so bad about themselves. Talk about how depressed they are. How ugly they are. How they're not skinny enough. Or pretty enough. How they just want to kill themselves. Or they talk about cutting themselves.

It doesn't happen all the time, or I wouldn't be on there. It'd be too sad. But once in awhile I'll see a post roll through my dashboard that contains those things.

I wish I could just hug all of them and tell them to be more confident and love themselves for who and what they are.

But I also remember what I felt like when I was that age. I felt the same, went through the same things, had the same thoughts. Confidence in who you are only comes with time. I'm glad it only took me till my mid-20's to not give a shit about what others think of me and be happy with myself.

I feel like I'm making a little bit of a difference though. I've received some lovely compliments to the tune of  'You make me feel like I can say what I'm thinking, because you say whatever you're thinking!' and the like.

That makes my heart happy.

I've also been doing a lot of fiction-writing the last couple of months. Nothing anyone on here would want to read, it's 'just' fanfiction (and gay fanfiction at that). But I love it. The story I'm working on is the longest thing I've ever written, and it's still going. And I'm proud of it. I've had over 3000 hits on it, and 150 people left me notes about how much they loved it. It may not be 'real' writing, but it makes me happy and gives me an outlet for creativity. Even if it's just for a select demographic.

Anyway, I hope something awesome happens to me every couple of days from here on out, so that I can write a little more often on here.

Thanks Cal, for reminding me that it's not the number of followers I have, it's the quality of the readers :) Everyone that regularly leaves me a comment on here is my friend. :)

Love you guys!

What I Did on My Winter Vacation

After being off for 12 days, getting back to work was super fun.

Most people were saying to me, "Oh, but aren't you glad to go back? I'd be bored out of my mind!"

Two words: Piss off!

I LOVED my vacation. I would've been happy to have another couple of weeks off. I pretty much got paid last week to play on the internet. I have a feeling I sort of looked like this:

I started a new blog on Tumblr in an attempt to stop irritating the fuck out of everyone with talk of Sherlock and Teh Cumberbatch. I've gained 80 followers in like...6 days. Took me almost 2 years to get 119 over here.

Apparently I've been writing for the wrong demographic. 17-year-old fangirls think I'm hilarious. So there.

(Oh, shut up...:P)

I've also done some fiction writing. I haven't done that in quite a few years, just sat down and wrote about something that didn't happen to me. It's nothing of any import, but I'm lovin' it. (I sound like a McDonald's commercial)

I had a rough few days there last week when my co-worker Hannah died, so all of these things were a nice escape. I still don't think I'm quite right about it all. I've still been sad a lot. For a lot of reasons.

So I am happy to be back at work where all my friends are. We spent the last couple of days laughing a lot. Well, I spent the last couple of days trying to make everyone laugh and succeeding. Yesterday morning I had all of my makeup cried off (from laughter) by 8am.

I think they missed me. It's nice to be missed.

It's also a good thing I'm back at work anyway, because I think I was starting to turn into a man. A filthy, lazy bachelor. If I could've grown a beard, I would've.

I kept forgetting to eat because I was on the internet so much (I really need to market 'The Internet Diet'...had my hands in so many tech cookie jars, that I didn't have any time to stick them into real ones).

Anyway, at one point I thought I had better tear myself away from the computer for some victuals or starve to death, and I found myself staring into sort of an empty fridge.

We did have a large bowl of cold roasted leftover potatoes and onions in there. I was too lazy to put them in the microwave, so I stood there in front of the fridge, eating cold potatoes out of this giant bowl with a fork. There may or may not have been cold gravy involved as well.

So yeah. Not much exercise got done last week. But with the forgetting to eat (and also the cultivation of a serious tea habit) I think everything got balanced out.

It's really died down at work, traffic-wise. Occasionally you can hear crickets if you listen closely.

Kind of nice not to be run off my feet the first two days back, but the days seem loooooooooong after what I was used to for the last few months. I shouldn't be surprised, it happens every year and I've been there for four years.

But, you know. I suppose it's like a having a baby. You go through a lot of pain, and then promptly forget how much pain you went through so that you can do it all over again next time.

I just compared bookselling to having babies. Wow.

Anyway, thought I'd give you an update on Kyna. You know, just in case you missed me. ;)