My Anaconda Don't Want None Unless You Got Sun, Hon

Working at Barnes & Noble, I see a lot of weird things, and a lot of weirdos.

This is my store.


There's one guy that comes in and talks about Johnny Depp a lot. Sometimes the guy has a fake British accent, and sometimes he doesn't. He introduces himself to me every time, like we've never met before.

There's another guy that comes in and orders a ton of weird books and movies, buys them and returns them. Repeatedly. He always comes in soaking wet. His money is also soaking wet, and very gross. I think he lives under a bridge.

And strippers? In a Marine town? We got strippers! I have never seen such crazy stripper outfits worn in PUBLIC as regular clothes. Who thinks, "I'm going to the bookstore for a few hours. I think I'll wear spiked, platform heels, and a spandex mini-dress with the butt cut out of it. Yeah! I'm gonna look awesome while I'm pretending to read."

It makes me say the phrase, "That person has too much time on their hands" about 10 times a day.

I was wrong though.

THIS person has too much time on his hands. And I thank him for it. Because I almost spit my coffee out laughing.


If you live under a rock (or just listen to classier music than I do), that's the song today's post title is from.

I find I don't take enough pictures of the plants that are in my sunnier gardens. It's hard to take a decent picture of the South and West gardens in the daytime, because of the glare of the sun. And at dawn and dusk, I'm usually doing something else.

*cue 70's porn music*



No, just kidding. Unfortunately, I'm usually working.

AND, the bane of my summer existence has arrived, which makes it hard to stand still and take pictures at these times of the day. Or, should I say BANES (is 'banes' a word?). Because there are two of them.

Biting gnats and biting horse flies (or 'deer flies' as Chuck calls them). Biting horse flies are irritating, and I spend more time swatting them than I do weeding or watering.

But gnats! Oh how I hate gnats. Also called midges, punkies, no see ums, and black flies. I, my friends, am HIGHLY allergic to these bastards, I mean bites.

The bites swell up like the Goodyear Blimp (do people use that analogy anymore?) and are the most itchy thing I have ever encountered. The worst part is, you can't see them, so you don't know they're treating your legs like a buffet. I will spare you the grossness of showing you a picture of the aftermath.

I did manage to get out a few days ago for a few minutes to take some pictures of my sun-loving plants!

This is my Goldflame Honeysuckle. AKA "The Best Garden Decision I've Made".



I wasn't sure about it the first year. It was kind of sparse, and got a lot of spotty leaves. I cut it back to the ground the next spring, and it came back AWESOME. And this spring? Even MORE awesome. That first cutback was the key, I guess!
The hummingbirds go crazy for this thing, so I'm very glad I put the trellis near our back porch.



This spring, I've decided to grow coneflowers for the first time.



My 'Ernest Markham' clematis is doing very nicely. The blooms are much bigger than last year.



The trellis needs to be fixed, I don't know what I'll do with this thing then...it's a prune group 2. I'd probably have to cut it back to fix the trellis. Would that kill it? Or just set the progress of the plant back a lot? Sorry if that's a stupid question, I don't have much experience with clematis.

And here's a shot of my West garden (West garden....like it's The White House). I just put up those hanging baskets a couple of weeks ago. I really like them a lot. The hot weather is coming on so fast, that I think I'll need to be changing the plants that are in it very soon.



Ugh, I need to go outside and water. And I KNOW the bugs are waiting out there with a knife and fork.