Sunday, September 12, 2010

How Artists Channel Their Anger

An incident happened to me last weekend at work that made me pretty upset.

I really do love my job most days. I'm a pretty damn good salesperson, and I pride myself in keeping my cool when dealing with difficult customers and frustrating situations.


Never piss off an artist. They will creatively eviscerate you in very satisfying and cathartic (not safe for work) works of fiction.

If you leave your condoms stuffed between the books or leave your fake nails in the children's department, I will laugh about it. Because it keeps my stomach ulcers from getting worse.

It was received very well by my bookselling friends on Facebook, and I thought the rest of you might like a laugh. (especially Rainforest Gardener, since you're a bookselling homey)

The medium for this bit of fun was stolen from Idiot Gardener, who made a very amusing movie about his horrible customer service experience (he was the customer).


Bub said...

Can't... speak... bshahahahaha.

rohrerbot said...

LOL!! This is really good:P)

Rainforest Gardener said...

OMG! They really do this and its always the regulars who practically live there because they have no life and sexually harass the associates. And I will attest that everything in this video is absolutely true at my store too. The worst part is when they spread their stuff all over the bathroom... I was laughing at your video but as a bookseller who can sympathize I'm a little depressed at the human condition now.

Zoe said...

Oh good lord! A tornado of excrement? I am so very, very sorry. But it did make for a fantastically funny blog post!

Liz said...

Hi Kyna,

I seriously hope people don't actually do this...............

fricken love fingerpainting with shit lol.

Hugh said...


Marguerite said...

yikes, this brought back memories of a coffee shop I used to work in. We actually had to set up a sting to try and catch the person who regularly shit all all over the bathroom. People are truly horrible. But your video rocks!

Edith Hope said...

Dear Kyna, I can scarcely believe this. How absolutely unpleasant in every respect that people are able to behave in such an appalling manner. But, congratulations on your d├ębut as a film director!!

The Idiot Gardener said...

Good God, I'd never thought of shitting all over a bookstore bathroom. It seems I'm not quite as bad as I often thought I was. I think the worst thing I ever did in a bookstore was deliberately elbow a small child in the head accidentally because he was screaming his arse off and his mother was too bust reading magazines for free, the cheap cow.

I also had you down as the first person to steam on over to Xtra Normal and do something with it. I reckon Bub will be next!

jodi (bloomingwriter) said...

Not sure this is the way I wanted to start Monday morning, but yeah, it is funny!

Kyna said...

Bub: So glad you enjoyed it :D

rohrerbot: Hi there! Happy to see a new face! :D

RG: There is a dude that is a regular, who is there every night. All he does is stroll purposefully around the store, sexually harass the employees AND the customers. He pretends that he can't speak English when us managers confront him about it. But we know that he can speak it just fine, because we've heard him! We call him Rico Suave. :)

Zoe: The fact that you got a laugh out of it makes the situation better, and I feel less frustrated about my job lol.

Liz: Oh I can absolutely guarantee you that they do this. I have even grosser stories, but I want you to be able to finish your breakfast.
I meant what I said about people not being that far removed from chimps. I just don't understand it...kind of like the anonymity of the internet. The attitude...'I can do whatever I want, because no one knows me here and it's not MY house'.

Hugh: Thanks! :D

Marguerite: Working in food service has gotta be even worse than working where I do. We seem to get the most complaints in our cafe. Just because customers are so picky about their food. And the girls in the cafe are some of the youngest in the store, they get picked on more. And they also fight more lol.

Edith: I'm glad that you said 'scarcely', because that implies some shred of belief :) Like I said to Liz, it's absolutely true. The situation that is, I did make SOME embellishments of the conversation we had. The guy made a MUCH quicker and guiltier getaway in real life. He did actually say 'sanitation problem' lol.

IG: You had me down as the first person, eh? Congratulations! What you win? :D

I work there, and you have no idea how MANY times I have wanted to just go up to a screaming child, bend down, look in his face, and just scream right back into it. And then turn to the mother and do the same thing, and ask her how SHE likes it. It goes on allllll day, my friend.

Anyway, we had a storewide meeting last night. And apparently before I got there, some of my co-workers who are on Facebook with me decided to show the movie to everyone in the crowd who wasn't on my FB, including my store manager. I was a little worried until they said he was laughing harder than anybody.

And I think I'm now the store hero ;)

Jodi: I did put a little bit of a disclaimer in, I promise! lol. Aw, you don't get on to read my blog much because you're so busy, I'm sorry that this had to be the first one you saw when you came back :P

Jayne said...

Haha - oh gosh. You are so clever doing this, and the lines are perfect, but yikes, what a flamin' creep! Seriously, people do this sort of thing?? Ewwwww... It did make me laugh tons though!

Kyna said...

Jayne: Yes, seriously. A month before this, one of our booksellers had to grudgingly fish a pair of underwear out of the toilet in the men's room, that someone had tried to flush. As I said above, I have grosser stories. Stories so gross that they're probably too gross to make funny.

Curbstone Valley Farm said...

Haha! I see the IG inspired you :P I'm sorry you have to put up with such sh*theads at work though. Nobody gets paid enough for that!

Al said...

just one word - yuuuuk!

Kyna said...

Clare: Haha, yes. Although I just mentioned him last post, I'm afraid he's gonna get a big head now. :P You're right! No one gets paid enough to deal with assholes like that. Sometimes I wonder though...what has gotta be different about your intestines to make you be able to produce such mass destruction? lol

Al: Hey buddy! :) Haven't seen you in awhile! I thought you'd defected! Not to be confused with defecated...

(sorry, bad poo pun :P )

Deborah at Kilbourne Grove said...

I thought IG's was funny, but this takes the cake,
spoken as a big breasted, red headed, Canadian store clerk!

By the way, I bet IG is only pretending to have an English accent, so he sounds intelligent!

Kyna said...


I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Al said...

Bad poo puns can be forgiven.

I have been lurking around the blogs I usually comment on just lately. The real world has been cramping my blogosphere time and style..

Kyna said...

Ah the real world. The real world can be a bastard :) I understand. :)