Where is the fucking time going?
So, as Cal pointed out to me the other day, I haven't been writing on here as much lately.
I started a second blog on tumblr, and I spend a lot of time playing on it.
It's something that's quick, easy, and I don't have to think much about what I'm writing, like I do on here. Plus, I get to hang out with a bunch of girls that are just as Cumberaddicted as I am :)
And the reason that's so attractive to me right now, is because I've had a lot on my mind. I like the mindless escape of Tumblr (which they should really call Crackblr).
I don't like to talk about unpleasant things on here. No one likes a downer.
Lots of stuff going on work that I don't want to blog about. Or really shouldn't blog about. So that's out for discussion.
And the rest is mundane. And I've been a little sad.
Maybe I'm attracted to Tumblr because of the amount of followers I have over there. I AM an attention-whore in case you haven't noticed. :)
I've had it for a month and a half, and I just passed 800 followers. Which blows my mind. I feel like a cult leader.
The average age range of users over there is pretty young. Lots of teenage girls. I've made good friends with a few of the 'older' folk on there (older meaning 25-30).
The teenage girls are lovely, they're just excited fangirls, like me. Which is AWESOME.
But they make me sad sometimes.
So many of them feel so bad about themselves. Talk about how depressed they are. How ugly they are. How they're not skinny enough. Or pretty enough. How they just want to kill themselves. Or they talk about cutting themselves.
It doesn't happen all the time, or I wouldn't be on there. It'd be too sad. But once in awhile I'll see a post roll through my dashboard that contains those things.
I wish I could just hug all of them and tell them to be more confident and love themselves for who and what they are.
But I also remember what I felt like when I was that age. I felt the same, went through the same things, had the same thoughts. Confidence in who you are only comes with time. I'm glad it only took me till my mid-20's to not give a shit about what others think of me and be happy with myself.
I feel like I'm making a little bit of a difference though. I've received some lovely compliments to the tune of 'You make me feel like I can say what I'm thinking, because you say whatever you're thinking!' and the like.
That makes my heart happy.
I've also been doing a lot of fiction-writing the last couple of months. Nothing anyone on here would want to read, it's 'just' fanfiction (and gay fanfiction at that). But I love it. The story I'm working on is the longest thing I've ever written, and it's still going. And I'm proud of it. I've had over 3000 hits on it, and 150 people left me notes about how much they loved it. It may not be 'real' writing, but it makes me happy and gives me an outlet for creativity. Even if it's just for a select demographic.
Anyway, I hope something awesome happens to me every couple of days from here on out, so that I can write a little more often on here.
Thanks Cal, for reminding me that it's not the number of followers I have, it's the quality of the readers :) Everyone that regularly leaves me a comment on here is my friend. :)
Love you guys!