Thursday, August 5, 2010

Life's A Beach And Then You Die


Remember all that complaining I did about Music Changeover?

Ha! I'm such an idiot. I should never complain out loud. I thought I was tired then....

Remember in 'Crocodile Dundee' when he says, "That's not a knoife. THIS is a knoife."

My week of training was sorta like that.

"That's not toi-ahd. THIS is toi-ahd."

Paul Hogan should know tired. After three Crocodile Dundee movies, his acting is pretty weary. In fact, I think it's in a dead snooze, isn't it?

I was pretty overwhelmed by all the new information on Sunday and Monday. But today...I feel semi-comfortable. Ish.

I'm sore as a bastard though. There's more heavy lifting and running involved in a bookstore than you'd expect. Heavy mental lifting as well.

I want to laugh/cry when a customer/applicant comes up to me while I'm working my ass off and says one of these things:

"Oh, you're so lucky you work here. You get to read books all day long!"


"You're so lucky you work here. It must be sooooo relaxing."


"I wish I did what you do. Must be nice to have a job that's so EASY!"


Serenity now.

Serenity now.

SERENITY NOW!!!!!!!!!!

I am lucky I have a job I don't dread going to. In fact 98% of the time I really like it! But it's far from easy. Being the manager of a large chain bookstore is kind of like this:

...except I don't get to lie down on the job. Lucky bastard.

I did get some relaxation in before the week of training though. Last Saturday, Chuck took me out for Mexican food and margaritas. Then we sat on the beach for two hours watching the tourists go by.

I was fooling around with my camera, and I thought I'd post beautiful pictures of Emerald Isle beach in the evening.

Which of course evolved into taking silly pictures of myself.

Oh well. Here they are anyway.

Chuck was actually working by taking this phone call. Must be nice to work from the beach.

Smarmy bastard.

I always find the metal detector guys funny.

This dude can push it in my face all he wants if he finds a bag of pirate doubloons.

But that's not gonna happen. All he's gonna find are Bud Light caps and fishing lures. And maybe even the occasional chicken bone. And he doesn't even need a metal detector for that!

Too many margaritas, you ask?

Nah. I only had one.

Chuck had like, 20.

All right, all right. I did get one nice sky photo. I was hoping for a beautiful sunset like the last two times I was there and FORGOT MY CAMERA.

But it was cloudy for most of this particular evening. I'm glad this one turned out as nice as it did. Beautiful temperature outside.

I'm thinking I'll be used to managing the store in a couple of weeks.

And maybe I won't feel so much like a tranquilized hippopotamus after a long day at the office.


Rainforest Gardener said...

Hey... so guess where I work? Booksamillion. And I get applicants every day saying they want to work for us because they would love to look at books all day while they work. No kidding. We have a NO NO NO NO file for those applicants.

The Idiot Gardener said...

Mmm, did some mention margaritas?

Okay, it's only 9am, but there has to be some perks to working from home. Now, where's the tequila?

Liz said...

Hi Kyna,

Excellent... But working in a bookshop is easy, surely??!! Hugh Grant manages it just fine on Nottinghill...


Lovely photos, especially the drunk ones... What's that age old rule, never take your phone or camera out when drunk? You'll only regret it later :)

Kyna said...

RG: Oh, I know you're not kidding lol. I also love the Moms that come in to apply FOR their teenagers. The moms do all the talking while the kids stand behind her. Yeah, we're really going to hire them. :P

Also, my B&N is attached to a mall, so there are people who will come in with a fist full of applications from other places and ask for one for B&N. Because you REALLY want to work only for B&N.

Or the apps with spelling mistakes.

Or the apps from convicted felons.

I could go on ALL day having a conversation with you about it, 'cause you understand :D

IG: 9am? Bah! What is a little thing like 'time' in the grand scheme of things? I'm guessing you go top shelf? *pours*

Liz: Actually, it's funny because we weren't drunk at all LOL. I was exaggerating, we'd only had a couple of small ones ;) . It's hard to be drunk with all that alcohol absorbing Mexican food in your gullet. We were pretty full though, and laid out on chairs like a couple of beached whales. Oh so attractive.

Hmm...maybe bookshops are different in England? Hugh Grant probably never had to clean up pee around his children's books or ban masturbators from the store. And of course Julia Roberts NEVER stops into our store :(

Al said...

Al hides his head in shame at Hogan being taken as in any way representative of Oz.

As an actor he made a good bridge painter (his profession before he became a TV comedian, which ultimately led to Dundee).

I have to admit he does have an okker accent though.

Kyna said...

Haha! Al, I've known enough Aussies to know that you all don't carry giant hunting knives with you everywhere, and know how to use a flushing toilet :P :D

And by 'enough', I mean 5 or 6 :)

Turling said...

I wish I could work in a bookstore, so I could read books all day. *sigh* Yes, I couldn't resist, this foggy, crappy ass weather has me irritated and ornery.

You are lucky in that you enjoy your job 98% of the time. So many only enjoy the inverse (that's 2%, for the non-mathematical one's).

Now, like IG, I need to go find the tequila bottle. And ice. I need lots and lots of ice...WILMA!!!!

Edith Hope said...

Dear Kyna, Thank you for pointing out that the man on the beach [not Mr A, I recognise him] was in the process of metal detecting. From this side of the computer screen [and, yes, I am myopic]he looked to be vacuuming the beach. How clean the American seaside must be I was thinking!!

Bub said...

Many years ago, I worked in a department store and managed the Entertainments Section, so I know where you're coming from. It's bloody hard work.

Glad to see you and Chuck got some chill-out time.

Margaritas? Make mine a Pimm's then you're cooking with gas.

Kimberly said...

Seinfeld has some of the best clips and quotables!!
Your eve at the beach looks fun and relaxing.

Urban Dirt Girl said...

Damn girl you thoroughly deserve some time off getting drunk on the beach. I could do that all day....drunk and people watching.

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

Oooh, I want one of those margaritas, too!! LOL!! Your posts make me smile! Glad you finally got some R&R, sounds like you really needed it!!

Curbstone Valley Farm said...

LOL, nice shirt Chuck! Does that margarita semi come with an IV drip? :P Even though the hippo probably didn't notice, I think you managed to capture a lovely photograph of the sky. The koala though is making me very sleepy...zzZZZzz.

Prairie Chicken... said...

Festivus for the rest of us! best Seinfeld ever!

Al said...

What's a flushing toilet? :-)

I actually know someone who finances his holidays by running along tourist beaches with a metal detector after dark.
It helps that we have $1 and $2 coins in Oz, so he picks up a surprising amount of cash. What he makes most of his money from is gold jewellery that gets lost on the beach. He says it is amazing how many people take quite valuable jewellery to the beach.

Rainforest Gardener said...

Kyna, you are so right about all the applicants! I've actually had people want me to help them do the application on our computer.

Shrinky said...

Aw, people photo's are far much more interesting than sky shots, don't ya' think? I don't care HOW much money these metal detector merchants might trip over - it ain't worth it!

Now about these margarita's..?

Jayne said...

Hahaha, great post. Glad you were able to get away and unwind after your busy week. I hope it gets easier for you. The margeritas should help :-)

Laura said...

Congratulations on the new job! It must be a lot of hard work, but you'll adjust. It's always crazy at the beginning isn't it?

Ummmm margarita trucks? I want one ;)

Shyrlene said...

Kyna - I have to be honest... I have extreme "beach envy"! Chillin' on the beach = Nirvana!! Will live vicariously through you...

Anyone that says 'service providers' have a cush' job, should be beaten. The only workers I've ever seen that don't work hard are Chicago city workers (and there's news video to validate that!). Another great post! Thanks for sharing! .... :D

Kyna said...

Turling: Haha! I read that at first as 'irritated and horny'. I think that would be worse.

Edith: That comment made me laugh so hard, because he really does look like he's holding a vacuum! That one bit is a scoop full of sand that he was using to sift through everything.

I wish he did have a vacuum. Get rid of all the nasty cigarette butts people stick on the beach, because they think it's just one giant ashtray. Bastards.

Bub; Pimm's, eh? Never had it, sounds delicious. I was telling Chuck what Pimm's was, and he said there was something similar here, called something else. Can't remember now.

Kimberly: Everytime something weird happens, I can always think of a Seinfeld episode to go along with it. And I never really counted myself as a crazed Seinfeld fan, but I always go to it for quotes...

Dirt Girl: During the summer I think it's more fun to watch other people getting really drunk at the beach lol. Tourists are like, 'I'm on vacation. Beer at 9am? Hell yes!' We went the other morning and it was like that.

Naked Man Fitter: I really need to find out what your name is so that I don't have to call you that lol.

Glad you enjoyed it!

Clare: Chuck got that at the Tir na nOg pub in Raliegh last year. It's so him lol.

Prairie: I can't even think of what my fave Seinfeld was. There are just too many moments...

Al: We had 1 and 2 dollar coins in Canada too. My handbag was always super-heavy. I didn't think about the jewelry thing. Since I'm Canadian, I'd probably feel guilty about making money off of valuables that people lost. We're like that :P

RG: Yep, I had a dude that parked himself on the end of my music counter and was asking what answers were good to put down, like it was a test. Well, I guess it is sort of a test isn't it? If you can't figure out that admitting to your assault and battery charge isn't smart to put on an application...

Shrinky: Nice to meet you! :D

And yes I do love to see people put personal touches in their blogs. I started this as a gardening blog, and I LOVE flower pictures...but I really like it when people throw in regular old fashioned rants or 'I saw this crazy thing happen today...' sort of stuff.

Jayne: I'm sure things will get easier. I'm just one of those really impatient people who just want to know everything NOW, screw learning! My brain should just absorb it all, like osmosis! :P

Laura: That's why I don't understand the kind of people that seem to have a new job every week. Why would you want to put yourself through all that over and over?

Shyrlene: I am lucky to be living so close to the beach. I'm actually only a mile away from the water through the trees behind our house, but maybe...20 minutes away from an actual (nice) public beach access. I do miss mountains though. I'd pick mountains over beach. I lived a couple hours away from the Rockies, and I took them for granted. I thought I'd always live in Edmonton, till death do us part. And here I am in the States lol.

Melissa said...

Fun Time! But I feel sorry for Chuck. Poor thing having to work whilst everyone else is relaxing and having fun.

Crazy Garden Lady said...

Hi Kyna,

I found you via The Idiot Gardener, who I found via Lady Greenthumb, who commented on my blog - so imagine my surprise when reading this post that I find myself coming face to face with my mate, Bruce (dead set no bullshit, that is his name) on his bed of nails, juggling his fire sticks!

That's not six degrees of separation, that's full circle!

The blogosphere freaks me out at times.

Crazy Garden Lady

Kyna said...

Melissa: Haha! Yeah, he's so hard done by :P

Crazy: Well, it's nice to have a name to put to a hardworking face lol. Tell Bruce that after the week I've had I'd, be glad to switch him jobs ;)
Nice to meet you! Facebook is like that for me. Someone I know will know someone I know who will know someone I know lol. And I wonder how they got to be friends, and I had no idea!

Kooky Girl said...

Loving the beach shot. So relaxing...