Friday, July 9, 2010

Oh My God, Charlie Darwin

Amy @ Go Away, I'm Gardening inspired this post indirectly, through a question she asked me in a comment. My answer to her made me think of telling you a recent anecdote. Not really to do with gardening, although I'm sure I could spin it that way if I really wanted to.

As many of you know, I'm the manager of a music & DVD department.

A couple of nights ago, a older woman came in carrying a DVD. She saw me and marched (I got the feeling that 'marching' was always her mode of transport) up to me at the desk.

"I want to return this."

I looked at the bag, and said, 'Do you have the receipt?'

She handed me both items. The DVD appeared to be a documentary on pregnancy of some sort. I noticed the DVD was already opened. "Ma'am, I'm sorry, I can't return this for you. It's already been opened."

She looked at me like I had two heads. "Nowhere on the back of that DVD says it's about evolution!"

Ah. I started to get the picture. This was going to turn into one of those transactions.

So I told her I would take it back for her in this instance, in exchange for something else. Because she probably would have turned me to stone with her Medusa glare if I hadn't acquiesced.

When she marched away to look around, I decided to read the synopsis on the back of the DVD.

Yeah. She was right. The word 'evolution' didn't appear on the back. But the whole synopsis MEANT 'evolution', if you have any idea what the concept is. The DVD was all about comparing the similarities of human embryos to those of other mammals, especially chimps. I had to shake my head.

She came back a little while later, carrying a DVD about something completely different. While I wordlessly started the exchange, she looked me squarely in the face and stated, 'I don't BELIEVE in evolution.'

Was this a challenge? Was Ms. Scopes Monkey Trial trying to draw me into a rumble??

Ha! Like I was going to bite. I just smiled sweetly and said, 'Would you like your original receipt back?'

Then I danced around like an orangutan and threw my own feces at her, and she totally complained. Some people can't take a joke.

I don't generally have a problem with Creationists (There are many branches of Creationism, but the one I seem to hear the most about teaches that the Earth is only roughly 6,000-10,000 years old), except for the fact I don't agree with them ('cause they're wrong). Everyone's entitled to their own opinion as long as they're peaceful about it.

Except Kirk Cameron. He gives me Growing Pains. In my ass.

My point is, if you're going to be against something, at least be able to recognize the definition of it!

I personally do believe in evolution. I've taken too many biology, anatomy and physical anthropology classes to believe otherwise. I have absolutely no problem with the idea that I'm an evolving animal.

And in fact, I'm evolving as we speak!

I'm a Cougar-In-Training.


(The post title is an album by The Low Anthem)


Al said...

Ha ha ha.
Great post.
Not biting is exactly the right response.
When I was doing physical anthropology the lecturer always began with a statement that if any creationists had crept into his class they could leave now. He made it plaint that his class was not religion or philosophy and he was not going to waste his teaching time "debating the misguided"

Turling said...

HA! That's hilarious. I couldn't do anything that involved customer service, because a) I'm not fond of people in general, b) I think most of them are idiots and c) I'm usually drunk. I prefer an office environment where I spend my first few weeks on a job putting the fear of ME into everyone, so they leave me alone. My response to that woman would have been, "you don't actually plan on breeding, do you?"

Catherine@AGardenerinProgress said...

I think I would've reacted the same way as you did when the lady tried to bring up the topic. Many people that believe in evolution also believe in God - unlike Kirk seems to believe. I could only watch 2 minutes of him... I liked him better as Mike Seaver :)
I agree, everyone's entitled to their own opinion.

Amy said...

Thanks for the recognition...somehow indirectly I inspired this post. Maybe you can help me with my next post title. :)

Randy Emmitt said...


What a fun post! Enjoyed her take.

The Idiot Gardener said...

I find it mildly amusing that the people who don't believe in evolution do believe that a white bloke with blue eyes was born in a stable in Palestine, after a local virgin was inseminated by a big bearded bloke that lives in the sky.

I vote evolution for one reason; I have monkey's feet!

Kyna said...

Al: I think physical anthropology professors must all be the same, because mine were like that too! lol. Yeah, all that woman wanted was to draw me into an argument. I bet she had a whole speech ready and everything. Sorry to disappoint, Lady, but I really want to keep my job :P

Turling: Haha, yeah, customer service is an interesting field to be in. I had one lady tell me last Christmas (which is of course our busiest time of the year, and I work my ASS off), "You're so lucky to be able to work here. I wish I had such an easy job!" I so wanted to punch her in the face. But in some ways I like customer service. I'm a people watcher, and I get some good stories out of it! Chuck could never do it, he'd be fired the first day for telling customers to eff off.

Catherine: I'm not really religious, but you're right. I wasn't trying to slam religious people. It's the whole 'age of the Earth is 6,000 years' thing I have trouble with when I hear it lol. There's a branch of Creationism called 'evolutionary creationism', where the people believe God is responsible for evolution, and that it does exist. Mr. Cameron most likely thumbs his nose at them. Which he can do, with his opposable thumbs. That he got from EVOLUTION.

Amy: I find post titles fun to come up with. Just like band names. Which I sit around and do for fun. Cause I'm a loser! LOL

Randy: I'm glad you enjoyed it :D I meet some 'interesting' people at work every day. I could probably make a whole blog out of just stories from work. Although I'd probably get fired for that, so I just stick to the occasional anecdote ;)

IG: AND, if you watch the whole Kirk Cameron video, he starts talking about how Darwin's theory is racist and misogynistic. Which is has been twisted by some to include. But look at the bible! There's racism, incest, and misogyny galore! Ridiculous argument. I'm with you.

And good thing you're a journalist, with feet like that. You people probably never have to wear shoes.

Curbstone Valley Farm said...

Where I grew up, evolution was taught as de facto truth. Might have something to do with living in Charlie's home country LOL. Never even heard of creationism until I moved here...and I was rather aghast, but to each his own I suppose. Personally, I'm squarely in the Darwin camp...but as a fellow evolving cougar-in-training, how could I not be!? :P I applaud you for not biting...I might have opted for the rumble...much more fun ;D

Laura said...

OMG I couldn't watch the entire video. I just about lost it when he started complaining about not being able to give kids bibles in school! What a tool!

Anywhoo, I've had that same customer perhaps a million plus times. Customer service rocks ;)

I laughed so hard at your post, I had to share it with my husband. Good times!

Rosey said...

You go girl! What the heck is that clerks' problem? The customer is ALWAYS right.

Are you serious? You have never been camping? My girls hate it exactly because of what you said about the potty. :)

Kyna said...

CVF: Haha! You and me and Bet Lynch should go out and get a drink together ;)

I am tempted every day to say something snappy back to these people. You know would definitely be something crazy LOL. My music sellers and I discuss that for fun....we call it our 'lottery fantasy'. As in, "If I won the lottery, I would totally [insert crazy thing said or done at work here] before I quit!"

Laura: My 'almost lost it' moment was when he started talking about people being "brainwashed by atheistic evolution"'s the fault of university professors. Guess what Kirk? I learned about evolution WAY before that. Oh I'm sorry, I was "brainwashed" WAY before that. :)

And you're/you were a fellow customer service rep? *high fives* I'd love to hear some stories from you sometime :D

Rosey: Yes, I'm serious lol. I've hung out at a campsite with people that were camping, but I've always left to retire to my motel room afterwards lol. I could probably swing camping RV style for a couple of days, but not hardcore tent camping, which it sounds like is the only kind for you LOL. I love the outdoors, but not that much. :)

Meredith said...

Kyna, this post was excellent. So amusing that I just read it out loud to my husband, while turning my computer so that he could see the photos as necessary. As a European import and a scientist, he's had trouble grasping the whole Creationist thing.

Two thumbs up for great writing!

Anything Fits A Naked Man said...

OMG! You are HILARIOUS!! Kirk Cameron? Bwahahaha!!

I just loved this! I just wanted to stop by and thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog. I really, really appreciate it! I'm your newest follower! Cheers!!

Anonymous said...

Oh Kyna, you wouldn't like where I work. We have to take everything back, no questions asked. "Maam, has this filthy, smoky, cat hair covered shirt been washed? Because I'll have to throw it away after you leave." "You found a rust stain from your old washing machine on the $3 dollar towel we sold you?. Sure, we'll take it back". It's maddening!

Tatiana said...

I'm with Turling and I'd have to have a lobotomy to work in customer service, because in my world customer is not even close to always right. :) Glad it was you and not me.

Prairie Chicken... said...

oh good grief.
kirk cameron is such a ridiculous wee man. so hard to take a 90's sitcom star seriously. do i really want my religious education from a man named kirk? no thank you.


Kyna said...

PC: I'm so glad you stopped by and enjoyed yourself! :D Totally agree with you. I think Kirk Cameron, Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson should blast off in a spaceship together. I'd say Mel could drive, but he'd probably be drunk, so that might not be a good idea.